Tuesday, July 10, 2018

If My Dog Were a Person, He'd Be In Prison

It's true.

If Bruce were a human, the things he does would put him in prison. And Neeko and Faolan would likely be as well.


Bruce's Rap Sheet

Theft - I can't even begin to list the number of things that he has stolen. From me. From Neeko. From Faolan. Toys. Food. Items of clothing.

Receiving Stolen Property - he and Faolan have collaborated to steal from me in the past. If sweet Faolan is successful, Bruce is more than happy to take the goods.



Public Urination - on the regular. He can't walk anywhere without trying to pee on everything. 

Public Indecency - put your lipstick away, buddy.

Loitering - he likes to hang out and do nothing.

Noise Violations - sometimes he likes to howl at 3:30 in the morning.

Inciting a Riot - I swear he encourages bad behavior from Neeko and Faolan. 

Assault and Battery - On me, though the times are explainable. He pleads the fifth regarding the incidents with poultry. 

Vandalism - he likes to attempt to destroy things that don't belong to him.

Attempted Breaking and Entering - it's a good thing he doesn't have opposable thumbs. Otherwise he'd be in any room or structure he pleases. He does try to turn door knobs with his teeth.

Obscenity - he's got a big mouth, and sure likes to scream sometimes. 

Voyeurism - he's a creeper. 

Resisting Arrest - if he's in trouble, he wants nothing to do with me.

Speeding - watch out when he has the zoomies.

Would your dog be in prison if they were a human? Are they guilty of any of these crimes or others?




61 comments:

  1. Really its a rare topic for me. I didn't expect such a post here and also I was little bit curious with this title. Then I read your submit. "Bruce were a human, the things he does would put him in prison" I feel its really a funny thing when I read your points about Bruce. Anyways thank you so much this submit. Actually I have work related to pets, Then I visited your submit. Yeah sure I will include it my essay on pets. You can also visit essay service when you have a plan to write a paper on your favorite topics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi dog lover,

      No matter what your dog’s problem behavior is…

      Be it jumping, peeing inappropriately, aggression, pulling on the leash…or whatever…

      There is ONE SOLUTION that can help STOP this problem now

      The sad fact is…

      Most Dog trainers miss this solution entirely.

      They give you cookie cutting training programs.

      They use outdated and ‘mean’ dominance techniques.

      Or worse yet…

      They have no qualifications and are complete phonies.

      So what’s the answer to stopping your Dog’s behavior problems?

      In 4 simple words…

      Discovering your dog’s hidden intelligence.

      Let me explain…

      In my 10 years as a certified trainer…there’s ONE BIG LESSON I have learned.

      More intelligent dogs are better behaved.

      A More intelligent dog takes commands easier

      …and understands what you need from them.

      The good news is…

      No matter how clever you think your dog is.

      You can >>> Unlock their hidden intelligence quickly and easily.

      You can >>> I’ll explain everything on this page.

      Don’t waste a second longer coping with problem behaviors you don’t need to be dealing with.

      PS Check out the brain training for Dogs course now. It’s great for eliminating any bad behaviors by tapping into your dog’s hidden intelligence.

      PPS- check out the cool dog pictures on this page.

      Delete
  2. I also buy same Treats from Canadavetexpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. They utilize the parts of the creature they can't use to make dishes, steaks or other prime cuts of meat. Bull Terrier

    ReplyDelete
  4. I actually love him even more now. <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. you're really funny.
    Your dogs are really cute. I think you should have them but your shirt is cute. my friend Sakada Sam did the same thing to her dogs. she sewed on her home sewing machine.
    Give it a try !!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bruce, you sure do have a long rap sheet on your paws. You are just the best at keeping everything exciting around here. Thanks for the share. Have a wonderful day.
    World of Animals

    ReplyDelete
  7. I really liked your Information. Keep up the good work. Cbd pet health sprays

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dentistry Research Paper Writing Services have come up with Dentistry Writing Services for dentistry coursework writing service students in order for them to score straight A’s in their dentistry paper writing services.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Most of the time our pets suffer from different kinds of diseases like seizures, skin allergies, joint pain and cancer is the most harmful disease of all time. So, you can try your best for using cbd oil for dogs because there is no harmful side effects for using these treats and you can use this dog treats without any tension.

    ReplyDelete
  10. When you are ready to start purchasing pet supplies just hop online and take a good look at the items that are on sale. Now you may get a little overly excited as you first discover this world of pet supplies. dog toy

    ReplyDelete
  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The nightlife in Escorts in Mahipalpur. Males and females love to spend time together. But not all males are lucky. Many of them do not have a sexy girlfriend to have a sensual call girl in Mahipalpur.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Enjoy Your Time With The Delhi Escort Every Day At The Hotels
    Are you ready for incredible fun? Delhi Escort is exactly what you need! Our Escort service will help you find the best Delhi Escort models of your tastes. All professional Escort Girl in Delhi from this city are presented in our list.so hurry book our Delhi Escorts Services
    Delhi Escorts
    Escort Girl in Delhi
    Delhi Escorts Services

    ReplyDelete
  14. Noida Escorts are now ready for you to serve a superior and better sex position in an exceptional way. Possibly you are thinking to benefit from the services of call girls because you need to explore the top-quality joy over and over for the hookup goals.

    ReplyDelete
  15. A good article can teach a lot to a man. An article can change a man's life. So we should read more and more articles. But we wasted our many times for reading a low-class article.

    I am honestly saying that your article is just awesome. Please keep it up and publish more and more.
    Thank you so much for sharing such an article Read more Cyber Security

    ReplyDelete
  16. I’m amazed, I muѕt say. Rarely ԁo I encounter ɑ blog that’s Ьօth
    equally educative and engagіng, and witһout a doubt, yⲟu һave hit the
    nail on the һead. The problem is an issue
    that too few folks are speɑkinng intelligently aboᥙt.
    Now і’m ѵery happy that Ӏ stumbled across
    this during my search for sometһing relating to this.
    Read more 2f viminol



    ReplyDelete
  17. We need oxygen to live in the world. So it is saying that trees are our best friend.
    Because Trees provide us oxygen. We are writing about trees, forest, trees in folktales,
    quotes about trees, native trees, exotic trees, fruit trees, landscape trees,
    flowery trees. Please read about
    Read more Angel Oak Tree

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sometimes I read a different article. I am enjoying more to read new and unique articles.
    I have found such an article. I am impressed with that. Thank you so much for publishing it.

    We are a Social Media Marketing company. This virtual store provides useful services like buying views,
    likes, website traffic, followers, etc., to others involved in the social media works. If you search for,
    you can find a huge number of these services at a rather reasonable rate.
    Know more smm panel

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow! What a perfect article I have found online! Many many thanks to you.
    I have read your article A-Z. I have enjoyed more it read. Your content is unique and very impressive.
    Please keep it up and publish more and more.
    Read More voyance gratuite serieuse

    ReplyDelete
  20. Most trusted brand in Islamabad and Rawalpindi as we offer exceptional
    Escorts in Islamabad & Rawalpindi and have the team of the most experienced
    and well-trained escorts who have expertise in the field.
    VVIP Escorts Islamabad & Rawalpindi
    We offer the best Massage services and other exotic services.
    Read More VIP Escorts Islamabad & Rawalpindi

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine some unrelated information, nonetheless really really worth taking a look.VVIP Escorts Islamabad

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow! What a perfect article I have found online! Many many thanks to you.
    I have read your article A-Z. I have enjoyed more it read. Your content is unique and very impressive.
    Please keep it up and publish more and more.
    Read More Rakhi Gifts online

    ReplyDelete
  23. Amazecall is the best and famous site for chatting with strangers. It allows users to socialize with others. This is a great place to do random chat with random friends.

    You can chat with strangers anytime you feel bored.

    ReplyDelete
  24. As a book can change a man's life like that An article can change a readers mind.
    Read also more 토토사이트
    But nowdays it's too difficult to find a best article in online. After many days i
    have found such an article which is i really like. Thank you so much for publishing
    this article. Please keep it up and publish more and more.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  27. We like your work very much If you improve it more, we will like it more.We supply birthday wishes products to uk.If you want to explore my website please open it one time New Birthday Wishes ,


    ReplyDelete
  28. Your content is very unique. I love to read it. Your post deserves a million traffics.
    Please keep it up. Thank you so much.
    read more Easy Tech Daily


    ReplyDelete
  29. Sometimes I read articles in the online sector. it's too difficult to find a good article.
    your article is awesome. I have enjoyed it more. thank you.

    We are selling longboards. You can find the best longboards from us. Please check your website to purchase.

    ANZO-15 HONEYCOMB WHEELS SOLID TIRE OEM BRAND 8 PLY MAPLE LOAD

    ReplyDelete
  30. Easy Tech Daily is a online platform that will inform you about latest technology.
    Technology is the most important part of our life but still we don't know
    about it properly so we are here to provide you actual information and guideline to use it.
    We are a group of people always here to serve you with intelligent mind.
    Stay with us,thank you.read more Easy Tech Daily

    ReplyDelete
  31. Pacetrail - Kickstarter 50% off
    Pacetrail will be launching the world thinnest cellular tracker powered for small and large pets which is rich in features like Geo-fencing, Live Tracking, Wellness and Activity Monitor, SOS and On-Demand Tracking. #Pacetrail_Launching_GPS_Trackers_Pre_Register_for_Kickstarter_to_get_50%_off

    ReplyDelete
  32. Valorant , a free-to-play multiplayer first person shooter, was created by Riot Games and is
    now available for download. In October 2019, the game’s codename Project A was revealed for the first time.
    Microsoft Windows will launch it in the summer 2020.
    valorant accounts for sale

    ReplyDelete
  33. geneticsvape
    Every Product include a Unique Verification Code, Provided by Manefacturer to ensure authentic of the Products

    ReplyDelete
  34. As cancer is a malady of genes so our fight against cancer was focused at normalising the cance
    cells by reversing mutations in the genes. Over a period of more than two decades, our research
    team identified more than 450 anticancer herbs and shortlisted 15 herbs having DNA repairing,
    anti-mutagenic, anti-tumourangiogenic, proapoptotic, immunoenhancing, radioprotective,
    chemoprotective and anti-stress properties to develop Cancertame Ayurvedic Formulation that helps
    to fight cancer without side effects.

    Check here cancertame

    ReplyDelete
  35. Mamoon is the world's most fashionable online store, offering top local and international fashion for women, men, and children. Mamoon inspires shoppers through fashion storytelling and style advice in beautiful look books, features, and daily newsletters. #sterling_silver_womens_watches #sterling_silver_lady_watch #womens_sterling_silver_watch #925_sterling_silver_watches
    sterling silver lady watch

    ReplyDelete
  36. Your article is awesome and interesting. Keep it up.
    We are providing the best laptop in the online marketplace from Amazon.
    You can buy your desired laptop with an affordable budget.

    Please check our Cheapest laptop

    ReplyDelete
  37. Our company distributes the fastest electric boards on the market to date.
    All of our boards have very high mile ranges per charge. We have created great relationships
    with some of the biggest manufactures of electric long boards, so we can bring you
    a large selection of what the market has to offer


    electric long boards

    ReplyDelete

  38. As cancer is a malady of genes so our fight against cancer was focused on normalizing the chance cells by reversing mutations in the genes. Over a period of more than two decades, our research team identified more than 450 anticancer herbs and shortlisted 15 herbs having DNA repairing, anti-mutagenic, anti-tumor angiogenic, proapoptotic, immunoenhancing, radioprotective,
    chemoprotective and anti-stress properties to develop Cancertame Ayurvedic Formulation that helps
    to fight cancer without side effects.

    Want to buy ayurvedic treatment for cancer in india for cancer?

    ReplyDelete
  39. My company is a small business management, strategy consulting firm.
    We specialize in strategic planning. We have helped over 100 clients write
    business plans, launch growth strategies, and win in the marketplace

    Check here creating a business plan

    ReplyDelete

  40. Cancertame is an over the counter ayurvedic formulation that helps to fight cancer
    as well as helps to reduce the side effects of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Cancertame
    is especially recommended in those cases where chemotherapy/radiotherapy is not a viable
    option or has become resistant and in advance stages of cancer


    Click here to read more ayurvedic medicine for cancer

    ReplyDelete
  41. Amir Sohel is a Lover of challenges. He provides highly personalized and strategic
    SEO advice on a wide range of SEO related issues that helping increase your website
    search visibility, web ROI and Organic Traffic.

    Click here to read more Social media

    ReplyDelete
  42. Really no matter if someone doesn't be aware of after that its up to other users that they will help, so here it takes place bongdo.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I have recently started a web site, the information you offer on this web site has helped me tremendously. Thanks for all of your time & work. 토토

    ReplyDelete
  44. I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your web site? 경마

    ReplyDelete
  45. I simply couldn’t go away your web site before suggesting that I actually loved the standard info a person provide for your guests? Is gonna be again steadily to inspect new posts. 바카라사이트

    ReplyDelete
  46. you have a great blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog? 토토사이트

    ReplyDelete
  47. Your writing is perfect and complete. 먹튀사이트 However, I think it will be more wonderful if your post includes additional topics that I am thinking of. I have a lot of posts on my site similar to your topic. Would you like to visit once?

    ReplyDelete
  48. Captivating post. I Have Been contemplating about this issue, so an obligation of appreciation is all together to post. Completely cool post.It 's greatly extraordinarily OK and Useful post.Thanks 사설토토사이트

    ReplyDelete
  49. A renowned name in the travelling services around the whole United Kingdom is the Orange Cars. Orange Cars are located in
    36 Godstone Road in Kenley. Orange Cars are meant to provide unique and private means of transportation to people who are
    always engaged in some official and business meetings, surveys, tours to sites and much more.


    Click here to read more Cheap Taxi Service

    ReplyDelete
  50. You make so many great points here that I read your article a couple of times. Your views are in accordance with my own for the most part. This is great content for your readers. thepetharness

    ReplyDelete

  51. India Gifts Mall is the best site to send gifts online to India & worldwide. We cover each and every corner of the world.
    Flower and Cakes are hand delivered and courier products are shipped through our best courier partner in the delivery location.


    send rakhi to Canada

    ReplyDelete
  52. Your article is awesome. I have enjoyed more to read it. Keep it up.

    Kholso, A portal connecting Nepalese community across the globe.
    Check Kholso

    ReplyDelete
  53. Thanks for such a fantastic blog. Where else could anyone get that kind of info written in such a perfect way? I have a presentation that I am presently writhing on, and I have been on the look out for such great information. 메이저토토

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the howls!!