If My Dog Were a Person, He'd Be In Prison

It's true.

If Bruce were a human, the things he does would put him in prison. And Neeko and Faolan would likely be as well.

Bruce's Rap Sheet

Theft - I can't even begin to list the number of things that he has stolen. From me. From Neeko. From Faolan. Toys. Food. Items of clothing.

Receiving Stolen Property - he and Faolan have collaborated to steal from me in the past. If sweet Faolan is successful, Bruce is more than happy to take the goods.

Public Urination - on the regular. He can't walk anywhere without trying to pee on everything. 

Public Indecency - put your lipstick away, buddy.

Loitering - he likes to hang out and do nothing.

Noise Violations - sometimes he likes to howl at 3:30 in the morning.

Inciting a Riot - I swear he encourages bad behavior from Neeko and Faolan. 

Assault and Battery - On me, though the times are explainable. He pleads the fifth regarding the incidents with poultry. 

Vandalism - he likes to attempt to destroy things that don't belong to him.

Attempted Breaking and Entering - it's a good thing he doesn't have opposable thumbs. Otherwise he'd be in any room or structure he pleases. He does try to turn door knobs with his teeth.

Obscenity - he's got a big mouth, and sure likes to scream sometimes. 

Voyeurism - he's a creeper. 

Resisting Arrest - if he's in trouble, he wants nothing to do with me.

Speeding - watch out when he has the zoomies.

Would your dog be in prison if they were a human? Are they guilty of any of these crimes or others?

Neeko's Health Update

I have been bad about updating the blog, and this is not the post I wanted to write when I did.

A dirty nosed, smiling Neeko less than 2 months ago.

About 2.5-3 weeks ago, Neeko started limping in the front. Her hips have been bad for a long time, but she has adapted and adjusted, and was doing well with them on adequan, turmeric, with some occasional acupuncture and laser treatments. I figured she had played too hard, and would watch it. The Saturday before last, I took her to a groomer for a nail trim and to shave between her paw pads (she has grinch feet, bad.) The following day her limping was worse, and we ended up at the emergency vet.

They did an exam and a bunch of xrays under sedation. The vet on staff noted her hip dysplasia (which I had long known about) and pointed out a possible bone spur in her shoulder. They gave me digital files of her xrays, sent them out to a veterinary radiologist, and sent us home with some carprofen and instructions to follow up with our primary vet.

The next day (Monday of last week) the emergency vet called me back with the radiologist's findings. I don't recall much from that conversation, just a few words here and there. Cancer. Right front paw. Further diagnostics. Follow up with Dr. Baker. 

I was driving. I remember exactly where I was. South split of I65/I70 downtown Indianapolis. I burst into tears. I immediately called my vet, left a message. Then I reached out to a friend of mine who recently lost her Pyr to osteosarcoma. She and Neeko were older puppies together, old dog park friends. She was wonderful, amazing, so kind to me. I felt badly for calling her, with her pain so recent and raw. She offered to go to appointments with me, told me what questions to ask, said that she was honoring Stella by being of assistance to me.

Over the next 24 hours I felt every emotion possible. Sadness. And a great deal of anger.
HOW DID *MY* DOG GET CANCER?? My raw fed, minimally vaccinated dog? A dog who doesn't get nearly enough flea/tick/heartworm preventative. She's only 8! How did she get cancer?

I heard back from my vet. They asked me to drop off the drive with her films. I did the following afternoon. They asked if I could wait, because the always amazing Dr. Cindy Baker was going to look at them then. She came and spoke with me, straight forward, but full of compassion and kindness. Talked about next steps, our plan for the time being. Scheduled an appointment for 2 days later for Neeko to have blood drawn.

I began obsessively researching bone cancer, bone lesions, care, you name it. It's probably not doing me much good, and consuming a great deal of my time and emotional energy.

She had her bloodwork done, the results were "great."

Over the last 10 days, she has become mostly depressed and lethargic, and it is breaking my heart. I have her separated from the boys, and wonder if this is possibly contributing to it. I am spending the majority of my time with her, and feel as though I am neglecting them. Two days ago I spent the afternoon on my couch, sobbing. I cried so much and so hard that it exhausted me.

The universe has excellent timing. A month ago, I had decided to take this particular week off work. I was nearing the ceiling for PTO accrual, and needed to use it or lose it. I was excited, planning a day trip, ordered a new dishwasher to be delivered. I also ordered some day old chicks to be hatched and delivered this week. The day trip was cancelled, the dishwasher delivered and installed. The chicks came as well. They are adorable, and have provided me with some needed smiles. But mostly I have spent time with my girl. Loving her. Talking to her. Observing her.

I dropped her off early yesterday morning at the vet. She was fasting, except water, carprofen, and trazadone. They gave us the VIP treatment. I was allowed to walk her back through the kennels. They gave her the largest, most private kennel. I was told there were a couple of surgeries on the schedule prior to her, and that it would be after 4 before she was ready to be picked up. I was assured they would be with her as she woke up from sedation.

I received a phone call from the wonderful RVT before 10 am, stating they had done her first, and were finished. That she was not yet ready to go home. They had found a nodule on her chest xray, but sedated and did an aspiration of her bone lesion. I thanked them, told them of my extreme gratitude. She said they would call or text when Neeko was ready to go home.

A couple of hours later, Dr. Baker called me. She said they did the xrays without sedation, not wanting to sedate her if it wasn't going to be necessary. They were looking for metastases in her lungs. If they were found, they were not going to proceed with the biopsy. They did find a couple of "areas of opacity" which Dr. Baker said are not typical of metastases. They sedated her, and told me they obtained some really good samples which are now at a cytology lab. I picked her up, and she is sporting an adorable bandage on her lower leg.



And now we wait. We wait for the cytology results. And go from there. Today I feel like she is still feeling the effects of yesterday's sedation. She did eat her breakfast of ground green tripe.

Right now, I am trying to think about the positives. Her blood work was great. She has not lost any weight. The opacities in her lungs are not typical of metastatic disease.

But I don't know what I don't know, and am focusing on her comfort. 2 weeks ago, I never dreamed I would be in this position.

My family and friends are incredible. Kind words, emotional support, actual physical help (a family member drove 40 minutes one way prior to her blood draw appointment to give her some trazadone, because I was working during the ideal administration time frame) and countless offers of help.

She is my princess, my heart dog. I will do whatever is best for her.

Fear, Control, Trust, and Relaxation: Leaving my Dogs with Someone

Until last week, I had not had a vacation in five years. Five years ago I went away with some girlfriends to celebrate one of their birthdays. I boarded the dogs during that time period. It was an awful fiasco. I had taken the dogs to meet the gentleman prior to leaving, and he was sure he would be fine with them. This was a licensed kennel, and a very nice place.

He had to go out of town, and things got bad, apparently. When I picked my dogs up, they were separated, and all three were wearing bark collars. I was told they were not welcome back, and that Bruce was "unboardable."

I scrapped the idea of ever leaving town again, though four years ago I attended a Nicole Wilde seminar in a neighboring state with a friend while my ex cared for the dogs.

Earlier this year, I relinquished a little control, but mostly overcame a little fear, by asking my sister to come over one night and feed the dogs for me. I set everything up so it would be easy for her.

It went perfectly smooth.

I knew I could trust her. My dogs love her, they trust her. Mostly I knew she could follow the directions. My dogs resource guard, so I was worried about a fight breaking out over guarding the food, or because they saw my sister as a resource to guard.

She has since done it for me a couple more times. I probably leave overly-descriptive instructions for her.

A couple of months ago, I decided it was high time I get away, if only for a few days. I booked a cabin in the Smoky Mountains. I asked my sister to stay at my house for four nights. She agreed.

I prepped and labeled easy to feed breakfasts and dinners. Explained about setting food out to thaw. Made sure Bruce had plenty of medication. Bought her several bottles of wine, and stocked my refrigerator with food. Gave her a check to cover her gas and inconvenience of staying at my house.

And I left. drove 6 hours away to enjoy beautiful scenery, good food, and time with someone important to me.

She sent me texts to let me know things were going ok.


My biggest fear was getting a phone call that there had been a fight, that one had escaped, or that one of them was sick. None of these things occurred.

I had a wonderful time, it was a much needed break.

I knew all along I could trust my sister, I just needed to give up the control, and overcome my fears. I hope she knows how appreciative I am of her.

Free Puppy to Good Home - Neeko's Embark DNA Results

To read about Bruce's Embark DNA results, click HERE

To read about Faolan's Embark DNA results, click  HERE.

I have written about how I came about owning Neeko in the past - stumbling upon the "Free to good home" puppy ad in my previous employer's online employee bulletin board, going to look at puppies, and falling in love with a 12 lb ball of fluff.

She was seriously the cutest baby dog ever.

I didn't meet her parents. I was so enamored by the adorable-ness of her that I didn't care. And, at that time, I didn't know any better.

I figured she was a "husky" mix. She grew, and grew some more. I had no idea she would end up as large as she is. Her coat changed. She went from a typical grey northern breed coloring to a blond bombshell. She is very "leggy." I did tons of research, and wondered if she didn't have something different in her. I could see German Shepherd in her personality and trainability based upon what I had read.

Several years ago, I ran an older version of Wisdom Panel on her, and wasn't really impressed with the results.

After being so pleased with the process of Faolan's Embark DNA testing, I decided to test both Neeko and Bruce. I have only nice things to say about the company and the process. (The only thing they have been inaccurate on is weights. They grossly underestimated the weights of both Neeko and Bruce, and both are very lean dogs.)

I received Neeko's results more quickly than either of the boys, they took a little over 4 weeks to process.

She mostly German Shepherd, with some northern breed thrown in for good measure, and a smidge of grey wolf somewhere in the woodpile.

Due to some of her physical traits, I am somewhat shocked that collie or great pyrenees didn't show up in the mix. Her coat is insane.

I have always called her my beautiful mutt, and have learned that is indeed what she is. The best things in life are free, and she is proof of that.

Embark DNA Testing and Wolfdog Misrepresentation

I spent my own money to purchase all the Embark DNA kits I have used, and my experiences with them are not at all influenced. To save $30 on an Embark DNA Test for your own dog, click HERE.

To read about Faolan's Embark DNA results, click HERE.

Wolfdog misrepresentation has always been a hot topic in the wolfdog community. There used to be groups based solely on this premise. Want to see tempers and opinions fly? Misrepresent the wolf content of your dog or wolfdog, and refuse to listen to any education or criticism about it.

There are many negative consequences of misrepresenting one's "wolfdog." There can be legal consequences, as they are not legal in all localities. There can be consequences of an intense animal falling into the hands of unprepared owner, among other consequences.

Courts are using DNA testing of dogs more frequently now. There are several states and localities where it is illegal to have a "wolfdog" be it 90% wolf, or 10% wolf. Improperly labeling an animal that has ZERO wolf content could *potentially* cost that animal it's life if DNA testing is not used.

Wolfdogs are typically divided into three different content levels - low content, mid content, and high contents.

• Low contents typically possess mostly dog traits, but with some visible wolf traits.

• Mid contents should be a pretty even match of dog traits and wolf traits.

• High contents should display mostly wolf characteristics, with a few dog traits thrown in for good measure.

I think my Faolan is a decent example of a low content wolfdog.

I adopted Bruce 6.5 years ago from a local Siberian Husky/northern breed rescue. He was adopted out as a Malamute/Husky mix. Though he is a rescue, I was able to track down his breeder, and provided with his lineage. 

I was told that Bruce was the product of purebred Alaskan Malamute dam and a "high content" sire. I was told his sire was 84% wolf, and that Bruce was 42% wolf.

I have always known that Bruce had heavy Malamute influence.

I ordered an Embark DNA test. Like Faolan's test, I am again incredibly pleased. I have nothing but nice things to say about the process and the company.

It was a smooth process, approximately 6 weeks from sending off the test to receiving results.

The Results

Bruce's health results came back all clear. I have received his breed results. 

Big shocker, he is a mostly Malamute. 

His wolf content (percentage) came back at 1/3 of what he was represented as. He also has some German Shepherd and Siberian Husky present, which is no surprise as these breeds are very commonly present in wolfdogs. 

I never once thought or believed that Bruce was 42% wolf. But actual purchasers of similar animals might truly believe their animals are. This could be problematic, because a wolfdog with that content might present challenges that the owners' are ill-equipped for. Those animals could end up in a shelter, where they are rarely adopted out, or even worse. (I truly hope that none of Bruce's littermates have the issues that he has.)

Did Bruce's breeder intentionally misrepresent he and his littermates, and their sire? I have no way of knowing. 

Some who learn that an animal has less wolf content than what they previously believed might be angry, embarrassed or sad. Some become defensive. For some, the amount of wolf present is the most important thing, and this is unfortunate and only about ego. 

So is Bruce actually a wolfdog at all? Some would say yes, Bruce is a low content wolfdog. Some would say no, he is a dog with recent wolf heritage. To me, it is semantics. 

No matter what Bruce is, I love him.

To view Bruce's actual Embark results, click HERE. 

Freon-Dependent Dog

The last two weeks we have had absolutely gorgeous weather. High temperatures in the 60's and 70's, with lows in the 40's and 50's. These comfortable temperatures are one of the many reasons I love fall.

The heat has returned. Today the high is 85°, with even hotter temperatures forecasted for next week. They are talking 90° and hotter. I am not happy about this. It's September!

When it is that hot, I don't like to be outside too much. Neeko is no different. She seems to be more sensitive to the heat than the boys do. Faolan can often be found laying in full sun when the temperature is too hot for my comfort. (My dogs have a dog door, and can be inside or outside depending on their choice.)

Bruce and Faolan like to be nosy neighbors from outside the house. Neeko prefers to be Mrs. Kravitz by looking out the front window.

Nosy neighbor.

Faolan likes to lay in the sun, while she prefers a cool, air-conditioned surface.

When I hand out bully sticks or other goodies, Bruce immediately runs outside with his. Neeko prefers to enjoy hers in the comfort of the house.

When it's warm like this, I practically have to drag her outside. She then acts pitiful, and makes me feel terrible. I don't really blame her. I get grouchy when it's hot. And I'm not wearing a thick, heavy fur coat. 

I know this will change when the weather turns cold. I regularly find her lying outside in the winter, with snow on the ground and a temperature of -10°.

So I will enjoy her company for the time being, in the comfort of our air-conditioned house. 

She Needed a Bath Anyway

I like to do gross stuff, or things that make me dirty or sweaty, prior to showering. Not the reverse order.

I guess dogs aren't any different.

I took Neeko for a walk on the property last week. It was a nice, cool afternoon.

Instead of the creek, we walked the path to the pond. I have a small pond on my property, probably close to an acre in size. It is well-stocked with fish - bass, bluegill, crappy, some catfish. I don't fish in it often, but friends and family do, and they have little problems catching fish.

While walking the path to the pond, something caught Neeko's attention...

The remains of a largemouth bass. A good 15 feet from the water's edge. How it got there, I am not sure.

She (of course) proceeded to scent roll in it.

She's a lady! 

Smells so good.

I let her roll to her heart's content. She gave Faolan a run for his money, the passion she was displaying while scent-rolling in fish remains. She was having fun.

She needed a bath anyway, and promptly got one later that evening.

How Do You Go Above and Beyond for Your Dog? #AKibbleAbove

My Rotten Dogs are Stella & Chewy's ambassadors. We are being compensated for helping spread the word about Stella & Chewy's, but all thoughts are our own. 

It's the little things in life that matter. Without even realizing or thinking about it, I am willing most of us go above and beyond for our pets each day.

I know I do.

I purchased my home and property with them in mind. I feed them a well planned, balanced raw diet. (Which includes Stella & Chewy's freeze-dried and frozen raw!) They receive regular veterinary care. I spend $40 per month on Bruce's prescription alone.

I willingly let them roll in mud and/or poop, knowing that I am going to have to bathe them later, because it brings them joy.

I probably don't want to know what's on her face...

Stella & Chewy's wants to honor those who go above and beyond for their dogs.

Enter their #AKibbleAbove contest for a chance to win a year's worth of their Raw Blend Kibble and a custom framed illustration of your dog. Five second place winners will receive 6 months' worth of kibble.

To enter, share your story publicly to their Facebook page or on Twitter or Instagram, using #AKibbleAbove. Be sure to tag @stellaandchewys. Follow them on social media while you're at it!


Contest ends August 31, 2017. Must be 18 years of age or older and a resident of the United States to enter. Void where prohibited.

How do you go above and beyond for your dog?

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Stella & Chewy's. The opinions and text are all mine.

On Solar Eclipses, Soggy Poop, and why my Dogs Have More Sense than the President

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that there was a solar eclipse today visible in the US. Where I live in central Indiana we experienced 93% totality of the eclipse.

There have been plenty of articles floating around the internet regarding animals, behavior, safety, and the solar eclipse. Many advocated for keeping your dogs indoors, for fear of eye damage from staring at the sun. Also found in abundance were numerous articles about human eye safety when viewing the eclipse.

I chose to leave my dogs uncrated. I have worked hard to have a set up that allows my dogs to go in and out as they please, and try not to crate them unless absolutely necessary.

Besides, dogs and most other animals instinctively know not to stare at the sun.

Don't look at the sun, Faolan!

Bruce-3, Everyone Else-0

I feel that I do a pretty good job of educating people that interact with my dogs. People think that I tend to exaggerate about Bruce, but really I don't.

He has no shame. He gives zero f***s.

There is someone in my life who is in the process of forming close bonds with my dogs. This has been accomplished with time, patience, consistency, and LOTS of bully sticks.

They love him. They sing for him, and look for him.

He has recently started feeding the dogs off the back deck on occasion. Only when it is large chunks of meat.

He and I had plans for an outdoor concert yesterday evening, and I was going to feed the dogs before we left. They were having chicken leg quarters. Each dog was to receive one quarter, and each quarter probably weighed between 1 and 1.5 lbs. The quarters were already thawed in a large Ziploc bag, ready to go.

He took the bag of chicken, along with some treats, onto the back deck. The dogs were already outside. He handed out the treats, which the dogs happily took.

He was getting ready to feed them the chicken, and he held the bag out for Bruce to sniff. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I was like "NOOOOOO......."

In a split second, Bruce grabbed the bag and took it from him. He looked at me, somewhat dumbfounded. I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

Once Bruce has something, there is no getting it back from him.

He ran inside, ripped open the bag, and gorged himself on about 4 lbs of chicken.

Neeko and Faolan had the good sense not to pester him. But we now had no dinner for them. Bruce didn't realize (or didn't care) that the contents of the bag were meant to feed all three dogs.

Fortunately, I keep individually frozen whole sardines. He fed several of them to Neeko and Faolan, along with some Stella & Chewy's freeze-dried raw, while Bruce chomped down on 3 chicken quarters.

Once he finished, I recovered what I believe to be most of the Ziploc bag.

No real harm and a lesson learned. Zero f***s given, story of his life. Dammit, Bruce.

Embark DNA Testing a Suspected Wolfdog From a Shelter

Order an Embark DNA test by clicking HERE.

When I adopted Faolan from a local shelter five years ago, he was officially adopted out as a "husky mix." Turns out, that is true. But there are a few other breeds present in him as well.

Faolan was an owner surrender to the shelter, and they seemed to think I was going to be his third owner. The person who surrendered him gave a story that suggested they may have gotten him from out of state. The shelter staff guessed him at approximately 9 months old in July of 2012. They thought he was neutered, turns out his testicles just hadn't descended yet. One small one popped up (or popped down?) a couple of weeks after I adopted him, and he was neutered shortly after that.

A few years back, I did an earlier version of Wisdom Panel on Faolan, and I wasn't terribly impressed with the results. So I decided to do an an Embark DNA test on him.

Not only does Embark have an extensive database to test for various dog breeds, they also test for 160 genetic diseases, all of which Faolan is clear of.

Faolan came back with five breeds present, and nothing was supermutt or too mixed to tell.

Live Releasing the Raccoon that Killed My Chickens

One morning last week I noticed that my chickens weren't outside when looking out one of my back windows.

I have a secure, well-ventilated coop. Hardware cloth is your friend when keeping chickens. I put a lot of thought and effort into the design and construction of my coop. In three years, nothing has gotten in.

I have an automatic chicken door opener. It works great. It is based off of a light sensor, and opens at sunrise, closes at sunset. Chickens intuitively know to go to safety as darkness approaches, and most predators are nocturnal. They have a run area to keep them confined when I don't want them to free range, but it is not secure, just a barn bay with a livestock gate covered by field fencing. It keeps them in.

Raccoons are smart. And one figured out how to slide my chicken door up along the tracks.

20 Reasons Dogs Make the Best Roommates

As a single female living "alone" I have reached a conclusion...

Dogs make the best roommates. 

There are plenty of reasons as to why this true, but I will highlight some of my favorites.

They are always happy to see me. It doesn't matter if I've been gone 20 minutes or 12 hours, my dogs are happy to see me when I get home. Whether or not this is because they are excited because they know they are going to be fed is debatable. 

They are always happy with what I serve them for meals. Be it pork hearts, green tripe, or chicken leg quarters, they do not complain or give me a guilt trip about what's for dinner. Except for Neeko on occasion. 

After the Rain

If you follow us on social media, you know that central Indiana has basically been through a monsoon. It rained for 9 days in a row. Mostly all day rains, with some heavy storms.

I was going crazy. My yard was soaked, with grass and weeds growing lush. Too soft with too much mud for me to cut. The dogs were going crazy. Too much mud to let them out in the big yard, too much rain for walks.

This weekend, we got a break.

It was 60 degrees and sunny both days. Mud be damned, I let the dogs out into the big yard.

After spending Saturday completing some much needed barn chores, I took Faolan for a nice long walk on our property Sunday.

I let him lead the way, and he led me to the creek immediately.

After all the rain, it was too deep for me to cross in my Bogs, and too cold to cross otherwise. But he had no problem going in.

After the rain, the water is brown and fast. There was still mud everywhere. But everything is green and lush, with wildflowers and beautiful weeds everywhere.

The sunshine was much needed, long overdue. The rain was cleansing, but the sun was freeing.

I could have spent Sunday doing some needed chores - cutting a ton of grass, weeding, weed eating. Instead I choose to spend my beautiful day off with my beautiful dogs.

I have no regrets. The grass could wait.

I Want to be a Cat

I've decided I want to be a cat. A well-cared for, well-loved cat.

My cats have it made.

They are both more than 11 years old now. Juice was about 3 months old when I got her in January of 2006. Noelle was about 6 months old when I got her in June of the same year.

They are both pretty spoiled.

They get fed twice a day without fail. Good food, too. A little dry, a bunch of wet, and whatever raw I can get them to eat. If they meow enough I will give them treats. If they act really pitiful, I will offer them what I am eating if it is healthy for them.

I clean up their poop. 1-2x per day, typically. I swear they laugh at me as I am scooping their litter box.

I brush their fur. I give them mani/pedis when I cut and file their nails.

They have cat beds. They also have a couple of baskets with blankets in them, just for kitties. If those options aren't good enough, they seek out whatever piece of furniture or blanket strikes their fancy at that particular moment.

They find the perfect warm spots. It could be a modem, or a router. A sun puddle. Or me. If I have a heating pad, I can forget about enjoying it myself.

They are mellow now. Rarely do they freak out over something unseen and race through the house. They don't (intentionally) knock stuff over anymore. I can now laugh about the time one of them knocked a casserole I had just pulled out of the oven off of the counter.

They are happy, well-fed, well-loved, content and spoiled.

I want to be a cat.

Black & White Sunday

Last week we celebrated Bruce's 6th Gotcha Day. On April 26, 2011, I officially adopted Bruce from a local rescue group.

A couple of photos of the big boy and myself taken on Wednesday, the actual anniversary of his Gotcha Day. The big boy definitely has a big head.

He's oh so sweet when he chooses to be. That is nothing new. Also not new is the fact that nothing can stop him when he wants something. I had a very firm grip on my phone whilst taking these photos.

Changes

I have been a bad blogger. Bad about reading other blogs, bad about updating this one. Hopefully this will change soon.

I won't go into all the nitty gritty details, but I have been alone since the first of the year. I kept the animals, bought the house and the property.

I am getting used to new routines, responsibilities. I am not complaining in the least, just lots of changes.

I work full time. I am the sole and full time caregiver/keeper of three dogs, two cats, some chickens, a house, and seven acres. (That's a lot of yard work.) My stepfather has pretty much been in the hospital for two months straight, and has had two open heart surgeries. Fortunately he seems to finally be on the mend.

I have a new budget, new furniture, new priorities. My pets are still at the top.

Change is good, growth is good. My dogs have adapted to the change well, largely because I have always been 99% responsible for them. They have been a source of consistency for me, and I am truly grateful.

I have a wonderful family, wonderful friends. They have been nothing but supportive of me.

Winter has turned into Spring. Life goes on, and I am looking forward to it.

My Furry Valentine

I love my dogs for different reasons, and I don't have favorites. But Neeko is my Valentine. She is and always will be my best girl.

Like a woman, she can be fickle and moody. But she is elegant, and appreciates the finer things in life.

She is calm when I am not, steadfast during turmoil. Always up for a challenge, an adventure, or a good time, she knows how to make me laugh. She is also excellent at eliciting exasperated sighs and eye rolls from me.

Her pushiness tends to get her what she wants, she knows how to work me.

Princess pretty girl.

Damn it, Bruce

I often lament about Bruce. Perhaps lament is not the right word. I often bitch about Bruce. And until you have experienced him first hand, or a dog like him, you cannot judge me.

But he's so handsome!

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Bruce. I have to, or why else would I have put up with him for nearly six years?

His issues go beyond reactivity and fear.  He is unpredictable and can be aggressive. I get judged for some of my methods with him, but I'm ok with that. I have to be able to control my dog. I refuse to allow him to live a life confined to the yard, so I take him on walks in safe areas. And I use a prong collar on him when doing so. Bruce has worked with three different trainers, two of them strictly positive reinforcement, and one of the "balanced" (whatever that means), and none could fully control him. He did pass a very basic obedience class, because he is very obedient when he chooses to be. He only chooses to be if there are no other stimuli present.

I have written multiple times about him and his antics. See here and here, for a couple of examples. Though tongue in cheek, this post highlights several of Bruce's less than desirable behaviors.

Just how bad is he, you ask?




I posted this video on Facebook and Instagram, but not here. Prior to this, Bruce had never demonstrated an interest in electronics. That has changed. At the end, you can see his reaction to me touching his back. Fortunately that caused him to drop my phone, which I then covered with my foot.

In some ways he is so much better than he was nearly six years ago. He no longer feels the need to guard space from me, or try to steal things directly from me. In some ways he is worse. If he decides he wants something, game over. He will make every attempt to get it, and nothing can distract him. Very rarely does he give anything up. This dog is lucky he hasn't had a bowel obstruction, with the number of socks he has eaten.

I dare you to try to take the Jolly Ball away from him.

I haven't taken a vacation in a while. Bruce is 100% unboardable. If he were smaller, and easy to physically control, it wouldn't be such a big issue. But he 95 lbs of muscle, fear, and attitude.

There are exactly four people I would trust to stay with Bruce. Not that I don't trust people, I mostly don't trust Bruce. One of them recently moved to California. Two of them are my old neighbors, and they have busy lives, three dogs and a cat of their own. The other is my twin sister, and her work is an hour away from me, and she has a family of her own plus two dogs. But she recently agreed to stay at my house if I ever need her to, after I offered her $100 per day to do so. I feel it's a bargain. But...she would have to come beforehand and learn the mealtime routines.

Ah mealtimes. My dogs eat twice daily. They don't need two meals, but I don't think Bruce could emotionally handle only eating once a day. Mealtimes are a circus, a process. It's a good thing I live rural. My house sounds like a kennel, or a dog fighting ring, at mealtimes.

I call him names. Most not appropriate for mixed company. He's an asshole. A douchebag. A jerk. I say "damn it, Bruce" at least three times daily. One thing I don't do with him is raise my voice in a true angry tone. That gets him grumbly, defensive, fearful and ready to react. Even when his behavior is wretched, I try and speak to him in a sweet, soothing voice. He loves praise, and sing-song voices. If he has the slightest inkling that you don't want him to do or have something, he is going to try his damnedest to do it or get it.

But I love him. I love how excited he is to see me, the way he sings at me. I love the way he dances. I love how intensely he stares when I tell him to "watch me." He is easily the most affectionate of my crew, and usually the most obedient.

He is handsome, sweet and funny. He is also fearful, reactive, aggressive and labile. Its a difficult combination. I don't trust him, but I love him.

Black & White Sunday - Alternative Cat

All three of my dogs can be very "cat-like" in their behaviors, but Neeko in particular is. She is crazy smart, but has zero desire to please me or make me happy, unless it benefits her. She is all about self preservation, and wants affection on her terms. She is sweet, but can be described as aloof and stand-offish. She isn't particularly interested in making friends with other people, much unlike Faolan. She is moody, and often looks at me like I have two heads. Most of the time, I am convinced she is somehow silently judging me.

But I love her so.