If My Dog Were a Person, He'd Be In Prison

It's true.

If Bruce were a human, the things he does would put him in prison. And Neeko and Faolan would likely be as well.

Bruce's Rap Sheet

Theft - I can't even begin to list the number of things that he has stolen. From me. From Neeko. From Faolan. Toys. Food. Items of clothing.

Receiving Stolen Property - he and Faolan have collaborated to steal from me in the past. If sweet Faolan is successful, Bruce is more than happy to take the goods.

Public Urination - on the regular. He can't walk anywhere without trying to pee on everything. 

Public Indecency - put your lipstick away, buddy.

Loitering - he likes to hang out and do nothing.

Noise Violations - sometimes he likes to howl at 3:30 in the morning.

Inciting a Riot - I swear he encourages bad behavior from Neeko and Faolan. 

Assault and Battery - On me, though the times are explainable. He pleads the fifth regarding the incidents with poultry. 

Vandalism - he likes to attempt to destroy things that don't belong to him.

Attempted Breaking and Entering - it's a good thing he doesn't have opposable thumbs. Otherwise he'd be in any room or structure he pleases. He does try to turn door knobs with his teeth.

Obscenity - he's got a big mouth, and sure likes to scream sometimes. 

Voyeurism - he's a creeper. 

Resisting Arrest - if he's in trouble, he wants nothing to do with me.

Speeding - watch out when he has the zoomies.

Would your dog be in prison if they were a human? Are they guilty of any of these crimes or others?

Fear, Control, Trust, and Relaxation: Leaving my Dogs with Someone

Until last week, I had not had a vacation in five years. Five years ago I went away with some girlfriends to celebrate one of their birthdays. I boarded the dogs during that time period. It was an awful fiasco. I had taken the dogs to meet the gentleman prior to leaving, and he was sure he would be fine with them. This was a licensed kennel, and a very nice place.

He had to go out of town, and things got bad, apparently. When I picked my dogs up, they were separated, and all three were wearing bark collars. I was told they were not welcome back, and that Bruce was "unboardable."

I scrapped the idea of ever leaving town again, though four years ago I attended a Nicole Wilde seminar in a neighboring state with a friend while my ex cared for the dogs.

Earlier this year, I relinquished a little control, but mostly overcame a little fear, by asking my sister to come over one night and feed the dogs for me. I set everything up so it would be easy for her.

It went perfectly smooth.

I knew I could trust her. My dogs love her, they trust her. Mostly I knew she could follow the directions. My dogs resource guard, so I was worried about a fight breaking out over guarding the food, or because they saw my sister as a resource to guard.

She has since done it for me a couple more times. I probably leave overly-descriptive instructions for her.

A couple of months ago, I decided it was high time I get away, if only for a few days. I booked a cabin in the Smoky Mountains. I asked my sister to stay at my house for four nights. She agreed.

I prepped and labeled easy to feed breakfasts and dinners. Explained about setting food out to thaw. Made sure Bruce had plenty of medication. Bought her several bottles of wine, and stocked my refrigerator with food. Gave her a check to cover her gas and inconvenience of staying at my house.

And I left. drove 6 hours away to enjoy beautiful scenery, good food, and time with someone important to me.

She sent me texts to let me know things were going ok.


My biggest fear was getting a phone call that there had been a fight, that one had escaped, or that one of them was sick. None of these things occurred.

I had a wonderful time, it was a much needed break.

I knew all along I could trust my sister, I just needed to give up the control, and overcome my fears. I hope she knows how appreciative I am of her.

Free Puppy to Good Home - Neeko's Embark DNA Results

To read about Bruce's Embark DNA results, click HERE

To read about Faolan's Embark DNA results, click  HERE.

I have written about how I came about owning Neeko in the past - stumbling upon the "Free to good home" puppy ad in my previous employer's online employee bulletin board, going to look at puppies, and falling in love with a 12 lb ball of fluff.

She was seriously the cutest baby dog ever.

I didn't meet her parents. I was so enamored by the adorable-ness of her that I didn't care. And, at that time, I didn't know any better.

I figured she was a "husky" mix. She grew, and grew some more. I had no idea she would end up as large as she is. Her coat changed. She went from a typical grey northern breed coloring to a blond bombshell. She is very "leggy." I did tons of research, and wondered if she didn't have something different in her. I could see German Shepherd in her personality and trainability based upon what I had read.

Several years ago, I ran an older version of Wisdom Panel on her, and wasn't really impressed with the results.

After being so pleased with the process of Faolan's Embark DNA testing, I decided to test both Neeko and Bruce. I have only nice things to say about the company and the process. (The only thing they have been inaccurate on is weights. They grossly underestimated the weights of both Neeko and Bruce, and both are very lean dogs.)

I received Neeko's results more quickly than either of the boys, they took a little over 4 weeks to process.

She mostly German Shepherd, with some northern breed thrown in for good measure, and a smidge of grey wolf somewhere in the woodpile.

Due to some of her physical traits, I am somewhat shocked that collie or great pyrenees didn't show up in the mix. Her coat is insane.

I have always called her my beautiful mutt, and have learned that is indeed what she is. The best things in life are free, and she is proof of that.

Embark DNA Testing and Wolfdog Misrepresentation

I spent my own money to purchase all the Embark DNA kits I have used, and my experiences with them are not at all influenced. To save $30 on an Embark DNA Test for your own dog, click HERE.

To read about Faolan's Embark DNA results, click HERE.

Wolfdog misrepresentation has always been a hot topic in the wolfdog community. There used to be groups based solely on this premise. Want to see tempers and opinions fly? Misrepresent the wolf content of your dog or wolfdog, and refuse to listen to any education or criticism about it.

There are many negative consequences of misrepresenting one's "wolfdog." There can be legal consequences, as they are not legal in all localities. There can be consequences of an intense animal falling into the hands of unprepared owner, among other consequences.

Courts are using DNA testing of dogs more frequently now. There are several states and localities where it is illegal to have a "wolfdog" be it 90% wolf, or 10% wolf. Improperly labeling an animal that has ZERO wolf content could *potentially* cost that animal it's life if DNA testing is not used.

Wolfdogs are typically divided into three different content levels - low content, mid content, and high contents.

• Low contents typically possess mostly dog traits, but with some visible wolf traits.

• Mid contents should be a pretty even match of dog traits and wolf traits.

• High contents should display mostly wolf characteristics, with a few dog traits thrown in for good measure.

I think my Faolan is a decent example of a low content wolfdog.

I adopted Bruce 6.5 years ago from a local Siberian Husky/northern breed rescue. He was adopted out as a Malamute/Husky mix. Though he is a rescue, I was able to track down his breeder, and provided with his lineage. 

I was told that Bruce was the product of purebred Alaskan Malamute dam and a "high content" sire. I was told his sire was 84% wolf, and that Bruce was 42% wolf.

I have always known that Bruce had heavy Malamute influence.

I ordered an Embark DNA test. Like Faolan's test, I am again incredibly pleased. I have nothing but nice things to say about the process and the company.

It was a smooth process, approximately 6 weeks from sending off the test to receiving results.

The Results

Bruce's health results came back all clear. I have received his breed results. 

Big shocker, he is a mostly Malamute. 

His wolf content (percentage) came back at 1/3 of what he was represented as. He also has some German Shepherd and Siberian Husky present, which is no surprise as these breeds are very commonly present in wolfdogs. 

I never once thought or believed that Bruce was 42% wolf. But actual purchasers of similar animals might truly believe their animals are. This could be problematic, because a wolfdog with that content might present challenges that the owners' are ill-equipped for. Those animals could end up in a shelter, where they are rarely adopted out, or even worse. (I truly hope that none of Bruce's littermates have the issues that he has.)

Did Bruce's breeder intentionally misrepresent he and his littermates, and their sire? I have no way of knowing. 

Some who learn that an animal has less wolf content than what they previously believed might be angry, embarrassed or sad. Some become defensive. For some, the amount of wolf present is the most important thing, and this is unfortunate and only about ego. 

So is Bruce actually a wolfdog at all? Some would say yes, Bruce is a low content wolfdog. Some would say no, he is a dog with recent wolf heritage. To me, it is semantics. 

No matter what Bruce is, I love him.

To view Bruce's actual Embark results, click HERE. 

Freon-Dependent Dog

The last two weeks we have had absolutely gorgeous weather. High temperatures in the 60's and 70's, with lows in the 40's and 50's. These comfortable temperatures are one of the many reasons I love fall.

The heat has returned. Today the high is 85°, with even hotter temperatures forecasted for next week. They are talking 90° and hotter. I am not happy about this. It's September!

When it is that hot, I don't like to be outside too much. Neeko is no different. She seems to be more sensitive to the heat than the boys do. Faolan can often be found laying in full sun when the temperature is too hot for my comfort. (My dogs have a dog door, and can be inside or outside depending on their choice.)

Bruce and Faolan like to be nosy neighbors from outside the house. Neeko prefers to be Mrs. Kravitz by looking out the front window.

Nosy neighbor.

Faolan likes to lay in the sun, while she prefers a cool, air-conditioned surface.

When I hand out bully sticks or other goodies, Bruce immediately runs outside with his. Neeko prefers to enjoy hers in the comfort of the house.

When it's warm like this, I practically have to drag her outside. She then acts pitiful, and makes me feel terrible. I don't really blame her. I get grouchy when it's hot. And I'm not wearing a thick, heavy fur coat. 

I know this will change when the weather turns cold. I regularly find her lying outside in the winter, with snow on the ground and a temperature of -10°.

So I will enjoy her company for the time being, in the comfort of our air-conditioned house. 

She Needed a Bath Anyway

I like to do gross stuff, or things that make me dirty or sweaty, prior to showering. Not the reverse order.

I guess dogs aren't any different.

I took Neeko for a walk on the property last week. It was a nice, cool afternoon.

Instead of the creek, we walked the path to the pond. I have a small pond on my property, probably close to an acre in size. It is well-stocked with fish - bass, bluegill, crappy, some catfish. I don't fish in it often, but friends and family do, and they have little problems catching fish.

While walking the path to the pond, something caught Neeko's attention...

The remains of a largemouth bass. A good 15 feet from the water's edge. How it got there, I am not sure.

She (of course) proceeded to scent roll in it.

She's a lady! 

Smells so good.

I let her roll to her heart's content. She gave Faolan a run for his money, the passion she was displaying while scent-rolling in fish remains. She was having fun.

She needed a bath anyway, and promptly got one later that evening.

How Do You Go Above and Beyond for Your Dog? #AKibbleAbove

My Rotten Dogs are Stella & Chewy's ambassadors. We are being compensated for helping spread the word about Stella & Chewy's, but all thoughts are our own. 

It's the little things in life that matter. Without even realizing or thinking about it, I am willing most of us go above and beyond for our pets each day.

I know I do.

I purchased my home and property with them in mind. I feed them a well planned, balanced raw diet. (Which includes Stella & Chewy's freeze-dried and frozen raw!) They receive regular veterinary care. I spend $40 per month on Bruce's prescription alone.

I willingly let them roll in mud and/or poop, knowing that I am going to have to bathe them later, because it brings them joy.

I probably don't want to know what's on her face...

Stella & Chewy's wants to honor those who go above and beyond for their dogs.

Enter their #AKibbleAbove contest for a chance to win a year's worth of their Raw Blend Kibble and a custom framed illustration of your dog. Five second place winners will receive 6 months' worth of kibble.

To enter, share your story publicly to their Facebook page or on Twitter or Instagram, using #AKibbleAbove. Be sure to tag @stellaandchewys. Follow them on social media while you're at it!


Contest ends August 31, 2017. Must be 18 years of age or older and a resident of the United States to enter. Void where prohibited.

How do you go above and beyond for your dog?

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Stella & Chewy's. The opinions and text are all mine.

On Solar Eclipses, Soggy Poop, and why my Dogs Have More Sense than the President

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that there was a solar eclipse today visible in the US. Where I live in central Indiana we experienced 93% totality of the eclipse.

There have been plenty of articles floating around the internet regarding animals, behavior, safety, and the solar eclipse. Many advocated for keeping your dogs indoors, for fear of eye damage from staring at the sun. Also found in abundance were numerous articles about human eye safety when viewing the eclipse.

I chose to leave my dogs uncrated. I have worked hard to have a set up that allows my dogs to go in and out as they please, and try not to crate them unless absolutely necessary.

Besides, dogs and most other animals instinctively know not to stare at the sun.

Don't look at the sun, Faolan!

Bruce-3, Everyone Else-0

I feel that I do a pretty good job of educating people that interact with my dogs. People think that I tend to exaggerate about Bruce, but really I don't.

He has no shame. He gives zero f***s.

There is someone in my life who is in the process of forming close bonds with my dogs. This has been accomplished with time, patience, consistency, and LOTS of bully sticks.

They love him. They sing for him, and look for him.

He has recently started feeding the dogs off the back deck on occasion. Only when it is large chunks of meat.

He and I had plans for an outdoor concert yesterday evening, and I was going to feed the dogs before we left. They were having chicken leg quarters. Each dog was to receive one quarter, and each quarter probably weighed between 1 and 1.5 lbs. The quarters were already thawed in a large Ziploc bag, ready to go.

He took the bag of chicken, along with some treats, onto the back deck. The dogs were already outside. He handed out the treats, which the dogs happily took.

He was getting ready to feed them the chicken, and he held the bag out for Bruce to sniff. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I was like "NOOOOOO......."

In a split second, Bruce grabbed the bag and took it from him. He looked at me, somewhat dumbfounded. I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

Once Bruce has something, there is no getting it back from him.

He ran inside, ripped open the bag, and gorged himself on about 4 lbs of chicken.

Neeko and Faolan had the good sense not to pester him. But we now had no dinner for them. Bruce didn't realize (or didn't care) that the contents of the bag were meant to feed all three dogs.

Fortunately, I keep individually frozen whole sardines. He fed several of them to Neeko and Faolan, along with some Stella & Chewy's freeze-dried raw, while Bruce chomped down on 3 chicken quarters.

Once he finished, I recovered what I believe to be most of the Ziploc bag.

No real harm and a lesson learned. Zero f***s given, story of his life. Dammit, Bruce.

Rewarding Behaviors with #StellaandChewys

It's no secret that I am a fan of Stella & Chewy's raw food. My dogs are as well. While I haven't personally tasted it, it's apparently delicious.

So much so that my dogs are willing to work for it.

Stella & Chewy's freeze-dried raw makes a great reward or training treat!

I admit, I regularly bribe my dogs for good or desired behaviors, or for doing "tricks" that I want them to do. They typically comply, but the reward has to be worth it in their opinions at times. Stella & Chewy's is nearly always worth it to them.

My Rotten Dogs are Stella & Chewy's ambassadors. We are compensated to help spread the word about Stella & Chewy's, but all thoughts and opinions are our own. 

I am not a trainer, nor do I claim or desire to be one. But my dogs all know several behaviors and/or tricks, and I encouraged them to learn them with tasty goodies.

I haven't taught any new tricks or behaviors recently, with the exception of teaching Faolan to "crawl." However, we still do regular sessions of their known tricks and behaviors, to keep them sharp.

When I do these outdoors, there are distractions. My chickens, other birds and critters, each other my neighbors tractor, lawnmower, golfcart, etc. So have to have something very high value to keep their attention.

Stella & Chewy's is just that to them-high value.



Notice how intently (for the most part) are paying attention to me? I believe it's because of the pieces of Stella & Chewy's I was holding. Faolan in particular wanted MY attention and the treats, and was being pretty demanding (but still cute) by barking at me.

It's quite easy to use the food as treats. Though it is freeze-dried, it is not super crumbly. The patties easily break into smaller pieces to be used as treats.

My dogs definitely go nuts for these, and are willing to work. I need to put my thinking cap on, and come up with new tricks and behaviors to teach them using these as a reward.

Do you have any trick suggestions for me?



This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Stella & Chewy's. The opinions and text are all mine.

Embark DNA Testing a Suspected Wolfdog From a Shelter

Order an Embark DNA test by clicking HERE.

When I adopted Faolan from a local shelter five years ago, he was officially adopted out as a "husky mix." Turns out, that is true. But there are a few other breeds present in him as well.

Faolan was an owner surrender to the shelter, and they seemed to think I was going to be his third owner. The person who surrendered him gave a story that suggested they may have gotten him from out of state. The shelter staff guessed him at approximately 9 months old in July of 2012. They thought he was neutered, turns out his testicles just hadn't descended yet. One small one popped up (or popped down?) a couple of weeks after I adopted him, and he was neutered shortly after that.

A few years back, I did an earlier version of Wisdom Panel on Faolan, and I wasn't terribly impressed with the results. So I decided to do an an Embark DNA test on him.

Not only does Embark have an extensive database to test for various dog breeds, they also test for 160 genetic diseases, all of which Faolan is clear of.

Faolan came back with five breeds present, and nothing was supermutt or too mixed to tell.

Responsible Dog Ownership Goes Beyond the Basics

September is AKC Responsible Dog Ownership Month.

For me, responsible dog ownership is about more than the necessities. Food, shelter, water, and love are mandatory, but these alone do not make a responsible dog owner.

Some things vary amongst breeds and particular dogs, but I am going to touch on some that apply to my situation, northern breeds, and wolfdogs.

Responsible Dog Ownership is Adequate Containment

Northern breeds are notorious escape artists, often referred to as "Hairy Houdinis." This is widely accepted. In my opinion, a responsible dog owner has containment that is adequate for their particular dog or breed of dog. What qualifies as adequate depends on the dog or the breed.

Northern breeds, as a rule, should not be allowed off leash in an unfenced area. I never allow my particular dogs off leash, though I wish I could. But they possess little to no recall. I have a walkout basement with a dog door. This leads to a 600 sf outdoor area that my dogs can access at all times. This area is concrete, mostly to prevent dig out, but also to prevent mud tracking. This area is surrounded by 6 gauge, 6 foot tall, vinyl coated kennel panels. There are two gates. One leads to the big yard, which the dogs are only allowed in while supervised. The other gate leads to "the outside." The gate to the outside is double gated, with what I call an "airlock." This is to prevent escape via push throughs. Because I have pushy dogs.

An individual with a pug or a Chihuahua likely won't require the same measures, just as a dog with good recall can safely be allowed off leash. It all depends on the dog.

Though some are against it, my dogs always wear collars with tags, even in the house. They all have a "wild" look about them, but Faolan in particular does. Coyotes are rampant where I live, Faolan loves people, so if the unthinkable occurred and my dogs escaped, I would hate to have my sweet boy mistaken for a coyote.

Feelings

One of things I love most about my dogs also tries my patience at times. Their passion.

I am a passionate person. A mundane conversation tonight really has me thinking about this. I have been called emotional. I have been called crazy. Perhaps I am. But I am unashamedly me. If I love something, I love it full force. If I enjoy something, there will be no questions about it. I could never be accused of being fake.

I love what I love, I enjoy what I enjoy. My family, especially the kids. My dogs. Raw feeding. Photography. Food. Weight lifting. Wine. Medical and nursing research. The outdoors. Beer. Stupid movies. Music. This is far from an exhaustive list. I get excited about things. I want to share the things I am passionate about with others. The conversation tonight that got me thinking was simply two exchanged sentences. About Pat McAfee. (He is the punter for the Indianapolis Colts. He is very funny. He is very passionate. I love him. Look him up.)

Perhaps that is why I am so drawn to my particular dogs. They feel what they feel, and do not even attempt to pretend otherwise. They can be wild and obnoxious at times, but I always know what they are feeling.

The Rest of the Story

Last week, I posted this photo of Faolan for Wordless Wednesday.

Here's the story behind it.

He was leashed, I just (poorly) edited it out. 

The tree grows sideways, over the creek.

He jumped up there of his own will, and walked out onto it with my encouragement.

It was about a 10 foot drop down.

Getting back down proved a bit trickier for him.

I would never put my dogs in danger.  I am confident in his abilities, and I feel this both boosted his confidence, and was a way of him expressing his trust in me.  He is fun, and both fearful and fearless.

The Return of Fearful Faolan

I recently posted regarding how Faolan wears his heart on his sleeve.

He really does a good job at expressing his every emotion.

We dealt with his fear issues for a solid year and a half.  The last six or seven months have been fantastic, with no fear issues at all.  Until last week.

I first noticed it when I went to put his leash on him for a walk.  He took a very submissive posture, and peed on the kitchen floor.

I thought it was a fluke thing, and carried on.  But it wasn't.  He is now back to submissively and fear urinating on a daily basis.  Nothing has changed, and he has not had a bad event or experience to trigger this.

It is so pitiful, like it was in the beginning.  I can tell when he is going to do it, by his super submissive body language.

He is not fearful all the time.  Just randomly.  I feed my dogs in crates due to resource guarding.  This is the only time they are crated.  I asked him to get in his crate, and opened the door.  He flopped over and peed over his head earlier this evening.   Other times he is his normal, happy, joyous self.

Back to square one, and time to buy stock in enzymatic cleaners.

Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

Faolan Wears His Heart On His Sleeve For Bravo! Crunchy Delights

I have said it time and time again: Faolan is exuberant.  If he is experiencing an emotion, it shows.  He is the antithesis of stoic, and has a terrible poker face.

Happy, excited, anxious, fearful, angry, antipathy; he shows them all.

His personality is overall wonderful, and makes me laugh on a daily basis.  I regularly call him a silly little boy.

He is a notorious treat snob, known to snub his nose and walk away from treats that aren't good enough for his picky palate.

We are trying out some Bravo! Crunchy Delights, and the little treat snob LOVES them. 


As a raw feeder, I am familiar with and a fan of the Bravo! company.  These new treats are not raw, but baked goodies that are made in the USA with all natural ingredients. 

These biscuit type treats do have a strong, albeit pleasant smell, and are easily broken into a smaller size.  (Don't tell my dogs that I break their treats...)

I am always happy to see him so excited about a treat, because I know that they will work well as a "distraction" treat, if he is willing to focus on food instead of something else while out and about.  These types of treats are always needed in my house.

Find Bravo! on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

I was provided with complimentary product.  All opinions are strictly my own.

Canine Body Language: It's Really All the Same

Have you ever paid attention to the body language of wolves, and compared it to your own dogs?  It's really all the same.  After all, wolves are dogs.  Wolves are Canis Lupus, and our domestic dogs are Canis Lupus Familiaris.

The following video was taken at Wolf Park, a captive wolf educational facility.  While it's incredibly cute, watching how excited the wolves are to see Monty Sloan (photographer and wolf expert), what I find interesting is watching the behavior amongst the wolves themselves, and how they react to the person, then comparing it to that of my own dogs, my sister's dogs, or my neighbor's dogs.


The behaviors are all the same, it is the intensity of them that is different.  A German Shepherd, Border Collie, or Akita is likely to have more intense behaviors than a Pug or a Golden Retriever, but they have the same behaviors and body language as their ancestors.

Another cute video recently made rounds on Facebook.  I do not know the back story of it, but it is a "reunion" of sorts between a lady and some wolves.  While it is sweet how excited they were to see her, I was again drawn to watching the behaviors and body language of the wolves, both amongst themselves, and interacting with the person.



Do you see any of these behaviors in your living room wolf?

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